Teaching Guide:
Dating Violence

OBJECTIVES

Participants will: recognize that dating violence is a significant problem; realize the negative impact of emotional and verbal, as well as physical and sexual, abuse; understand the dynamics of date rape and the role communication can play in avoiding it; understand why violence occurs and recognize the signs of potential violence; and know what to do if violence occurs in their relationships.

MATERIALS

• copy of "Dating Violence" for each participant
• container for written, participant questions
• flip chart and markers, chalk board and chalk or overhead projector
• VCR and "Dating, Sex, and Trouble" video (optional)

PRESENTATION GUIDE

This lesson is straightforward. For most presentations, you can simply go over the material found in the fact sheet. This guide simply provides comments on how you might present the material, suggestions for eliciting participant discussion and descriptions of supplementary material and activities you may want to use. Don't feel like you have to follow or use everything in it. You know your audience better than anyone else, you know how much time you have to make your presentation and you have your own unique ways of presenting material you're most comfortable with.

INTRODUCTION

Consider beginning your presentation by asking participants what they think of when they hear the word "dating." Most, if not all, of their responses will focus on the positive aspects of dating relationships. Comment on that fact and point out there is a darker, more negative side to dating, however. For some people, dating also involves abuse and violence.

Continue by asking participants to raise their hands if they know of someone who has experienced dating violence. Ask what happened and how the people involved handled the situation. Invite comments from the group. When given an opportunity, most teens want to talk about these issues. Asking questions and inviting comments at the beginning of your presentation should result in the participants themselves bringing up many of the issues covered in the lesson.

Conclude the introductory portion of your presentation by highlighting some of the material from the first section of the fact sheet. Point out how prevalent dating violence is and the range of behaviors that are involved.

EMOTIONAL AND VERBAL ABUSE

Be sure to emphasize the fact that verbal and emotional abuse can have serious, long-term effects as you go over this section of the fact sheet. Since they probably weren't thinking about these forms of abuse during the introductory discussion, ask participants for examples and invite comments.

DATE RAPE

Date rape is a serious, often misunderstood and potentially sensitive topic for many teens. They need to think and talk about it, however. If you want to focus on it, consider using the video "Dating, Sex, and Trouble." It is approximately 25 minutes long and features a number of teens discussing their own personal experiences as well as general comments about the phenomena of date rape. Show the video and ask participants their reactions to it. Conclude that discussion by emphasizing the points from this section of the fact sheet that don't come up in the discussion.

WHY ABUSE HAPPENS

Be sure to emphasize the point that dating violence often has its roots in the way people learned to relate to others during childhood.

SIGNS OF POTENTIAL VIOLENCE

Tell participants that they need to be able to recognize the "warning signs" that a dating partner could be violent and go over those signs. (If an overhead projector is available, use "The Potential for Violence Exists if Your Partner:" to make a transparency.)

IF VIOLENCE OCCURS

Go over the things participants should do if they find themselves in a violent, or potentially violent, relationship. (Use "If You're in a Violent Relationship" to make a transparency.)

MARRIAGE MYTH

In many cases of spouse abuse, the abuse started well before marriage. It started as dating violence. Teens need to hear that message. Emphasize the point that violence does not magically disappear with marriage.

INTEGRITY AND DATING VIOLENCE

As you cover the material from this final section of the fact sheet, try to end your presentation by drawing on the "sexual integrity" theme. Point out that dating violence and sexual integrity are incompatible with each other and that acting with sexual integrity can help break the cycle of abuse.

AUTHOR: Gary L. Hansen, Ph.D., Extension Specialist in Sociology, Cooperative Extension Service, University of Kentucky; and William W. Mallory, Fayette County Extension Agent for 4-H/Youth Development, Cooperative Extension Service, University of Kentucky.