OBJECTIVES
Participants will:
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MATERIALS
PRESENTATION GUIDE
This lesson is straightforward. For most presentations, you can simply go over the material found in the fact sheet. This guide simply provides comments on how you might present the material, suggestions for eliciting participant discussion and descriptions of supplementary material and activities you may want to use. Don't feel like you have to follow or use everything in it. You know your audience better than anyone else, you know how much time you have to make your presentation and you have your own unique ways of presenting material you're most comfortable with.
While you can use this lesson at any place in your SIT program, there are some benefits to using it fairly early. Since it is designed to facilitate talking about sexuality, it should help participants feel comfortable discussing it. If that happens, they may end up talking and participating more in group discussions during the SIT program.
INTRODUCTION
Begin the session by pointing out how often we are exposed to sexual messages. One way to do this is to simply read the first paragraph of the fact sheet. Point out that, considering the number of sexual messages they receive, you'd think teens wouldn't have any trouble talking about sexuality. Ask the group if they think this is true or not. Go over what's involved in true, effective communication about sexuality and ask them if they find such communication difficult. If so, try to draw participants into a discussion by asking why they find talking about sexuality difficult. You can then end this introductory section by emphasizing the point that effective communication about sexuality provides both the information and human support we need to develop a set of guiding values for sexual decision-making and responsible sexual behavior. Stress the fact that talking about sexuality plays a key part in being able to act with sexual integrity.
LANGUAGE IS IMPORTANT
Introduce this section by pointing out that the words we use for an object or activity influences how we experience it. Point out that this is particularly true when it comes to sexuality.
If your group is composed of "older" teens who would not be offended or embarrassed by "slang" terms for sexual intercourse, you might want to consider the following exercise. Give each participant a pencil and a piece of paper and ask everyone to list all the words they can think of for sexual intercourse. Select a few members of the group and have them read their lists. Focus on two or three of the terms from their lists and discuss how their use may affect the way the person using them thinks or feels about intercourse. For example, you can discuss the different feelings and implications of using "making love" as opposed to one of the many slang expressions. Point out that "making love" draws attention to the emotional aspects of sexual intercourse while the slang expressions draw attention to its physical aspects. Continue to discuss the lists participants made by pointing out that the terms or words they used first or second probably are the ones that first came to their minds. Encourage participants to think about what that says about the way they think of sexuality. If you want to pursue this discussion further, point out that females are more likely than males to list "making love" first while males are more likely to list slang expressions first. See if this occurred in your group and comment on what it says about the different ways females and males think about and approach sexuality. You may also want to ask participants to count how many terms they were able to come up with. See whether males or females thought of the most. If your group is typical, the males will have thought of more. Comment on how the topic of sexuality is unique since, in general, adolescent females have larger vocabularies than adolescent males.
If you decide not to use this exercise, make the point about the effect of language by simply noting the fact that a person who uses the term "making love" for sexual intercourse will think of it differently than a person who uses one of the many derogatory slang expressions.
Continue this section by noting the fact that the language we use affects how others respond to what we say. Go over the fact sheet material on the "connotative" meaning of words and how people sometimes respond to specific words that evoke strong emotions rather than listen to what someone is saying. Make the point that participants need to think about the emotional reactions the words they use are likely to evoke and avoid those with strong negative connotations. Point out that the best way to minimize problems when talking about sexuality is to learn and use the correct words for physical anatomy and sexual activities. If you want to draw participants into a discussion and feel they won't be offended, you can ask them for examples of sexual words that are likely to have strong negative connotations for some. Talking about specific examples has the benefit of sensitizing participants to the effects of words in ways they may have never thought of before.
TALKING WITH PARENTS
You may want to introduce this section by asking participants if they really talk with their parents about sexuality. Ask them about both the benefits and difficulties of such discussions. In addition to answering from their own perspectives, ask participants to think about the benefits and difficulties from their parents' points of view. These questions should result in participants themselves bringing up many of the major issues you'll want to discuss in this section. You can then proceed to cover the fact sheet material by acknowledging the fact that talking about sexuality with parents may seem embarrassing. Point out it's not unusual for teens to feel that way but they need to think of the benefits and try to start communicating.
It's important to emphasize the material on parents being able to understand the sexual issues and feelings their teens are struggling with. Remind participants that their parents were young once and that they are sexual beings throughout their lives. One way to initiate a discussion of how many teens seem to forget these points is to ask participants how many times per month they think people over 35 have sexual intercourse. Since many teens do not think of people their parents' ages as being sexual, this can lead to an interesting discussion.
Instead of asking participants how often they think "people over 35" engage in sexual intercourse, you may want to give everyone a pencil and sheet of paper ask them to write down how many times per month they think "their mother" and/or "their father" engage in intercourse. Since some participants may feel uncomfortable telling the group their answers, you can present the information from the following table. (If an overhead projector is available, use "Mean Measurement of Intercourse Frequency Per Month" to make a transparency.) As you go over the information, ask participants to find their parents' age and see if they under- or over-estimated their frequency.
Continue by asking for a show of hands to determine if more participants under- or over-estimated. (If your group is like most, the teens will have vastly under-estimated.) Try to draw participants into a discussion by asking why they think the group answered as it did. This should allow you to make the point that parents are sexual beings and that many teens are just as likely to deny the sexuality of the older generation as they think the older generation is to deny their's.
While participants need to realize that their parents are sexual beings, they also need to realize that many of their parents may have grown up in homes where sexuality was rarely, if ever, discussed. Be sure to point this out and emphasize the fact that it may explain why some of their parents seem uncomfortable discussing sexuality with them.
As you continue to present the fact sheet material, emphasize the point that teens don't have to make talking to their parents about sexuality a big deal. They can simply use everyday events as "triggers" for communication. Give the fact sheet example of commenting on the sexual content of a television program. Ask participants if they can give examples of situations where it was easy for them to initiate conversations with their parents. Encourage them to talk about their experiences. Teens can benefit from hearing other teens' "success stories" in talking with parents.
End this section by going over the list of questions participants may want to explore with their parents. (Use "Questions and Issues to Explore with Parents" to make a transparency.) Encourage discussion by asking if there are any other questions participants would like to discuss with their parents. Acknowledge the fact that some teens will find discussing some of these questions with their parents too embarrassing. Encourage them to think of their own questions and issues and begin with nonthreatening topics. Make the point that the simple fact they are talking to their parents about sexuality is far more important than the specific topic they are discussing.
TALKING WITH PARTNERS
Introduce this section by making the point that it's important for teens who are dating or going out to talk with their partners about sexuality. Emphasize the need to communicate feelings about sexuality and appropriate sexual behavior. Those who are sexually active or think they may become so also need to talk about ways to avoid unwanted pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases. Acknowledge the fact that many teens find such frank discussions difficult but point out the need to make the effort.
If you have time, you may want to try a role-playing exercise. Have participants divide into a number of small groups. Ask each group to develop a short "skit" or role-playing situation in which a person initiates a conversation with a dating partner on either (a) their need to discuss what they both think is appropriate sexual behavior or (b) their need to protect themselves from unwanted pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases. In order to avoid having all groups portray either a male or female initiating the conversation, you may want to tell each group if they should cast a female or a male in that role. Have each small group select members to present their "skits" to the entire group. Encourage discussion after each presentation. If participants don't bring it up themselves, try to focus the discussion on how effective the portrayed strategies for initiating conversation are likely to be.
TALKING WITH FRIENDS
Try to strike a balance as you present the material from this section. Point out how helpful friends can be and how important it can be for teens to talk to them about their feelings, anxieties and uncertainties. Balance this by pointing out that a lot of misinformation about sexuality gets passed from person to person and that everything their friends tell them about sexuality may not be true. Emphasize the point that teens shouldn't let their friends convince them to do something they think is wrong. Conclude this section by encouraging participants to be a good listener when friends want to talk with them. Encourage them to pass on accurate information and to help their friends make responsible sexual decisions.
TALKING WITH MEDICAL PROFESSIONALS
Make two specific points as you present the material from this section. First, doctors, nurses and other health professionals are important sources of information about sexuality. Encourage participants to talk to them. Second, some medical professionals may initiate conversations about sexuality. Tell participants they shouldn't feel embarrassed or offended and encourage them to take advantage of the opportunity to learn from them.
WHO ELSE?
There are other people teens may want to talk with about sexuality. Encourage participants to think of who they may be. Go over the possibilities from the fact sheet. (Use "Who Else Would You Feel Comfortable Talking With?" to make a transparency.) If there are people participants would like to talk with, encourage them to take the initiative.
TALKING IS IMPORTANT
Conclude the session by reemphasizing the importance of being able to talk openly and honestly about sexuality. Point out how it is a critical part of acting with sexual integrity.
AUTHOR: Gary L. Hansen, Ph.D., Extension Specialist in Sociology, Cooperative Extension Service, University of Kentucky; and William W. Mallory, Fayette County Extension Agent for 4-H/Youth Development, Cooperative Extension Service, University of Kentucky.
