Teaching Guide:
Feeling Good About Saying "No"

OBJECTIVES

Participants will:

realize that saying "no" to sex is a valid option; know the things that indicate they are not ready for sex; realize the importance of and mentally rehearse strategies for living their values; understand the importance of thinking about and "setting limits" for forms of sexual expression besides intercourse; and recognize the importance of becoming informed about sexuality even if they aren't sexually active at this time.

MATERIALS

• copy of "Feeling Good About Saying 'No'" for each participant
• container for written, participant questions
• flip chart and markers, chalk board and chalk or overhead projector
• VCR and "Teenage Sex: Resisting the Pressure" video (optional)

PRESENTATION GUIDE

This lesson is straightforward. For most presentations, you can simply go over the material found in the fact sheet. This guide simply provides comments on how you might present the material, suggestions for eliciting participant discussion and descriptions of supplementary material and activities you may want to use. Don't feel like you have to follow or use everything in it. You know your audience better than anyone else, you know how much time you have to make your presentation and you have your own unique ways of presenting material you're most comfortable with.

INTRODUCTION

Introduce the material in this lesson by going over the information in the first couple of paragraphs of the fact sheet. Be sure to acknowledge the fact that some of the toughest decisions participants face involve intimate relationships and sexuality. Stress the importance of each participant deciding and living his or her own values.

If you think you'll have time, you may want to use the 29-minute video titled "Teenage Sex: Resisting the Pressure." It covers many of the points contained in the SIT fact sheet. Allow time for discussion after showing it. If you use the video, you'll probably need to skip some of the following material and suggestions.

CHOOSING ABSTINENCE

This section is quite straightforward. Simply go over the material as it is covered in the fact sheet. Go over the list of ways to tell if you're not ready for sex and ask the group if they can think of any others. (If an overhead projector is available, use "You're Not Ready For Sex If" to make a transparency.) Be particularly sure to emphasize the point at the end of the section that it's never too late to choose abstinence.

LIVING YOUR VALUES

Begin this section by acknowledging the fact that it's not always easy to practice abstinence. Pay particular attention to the suggestions for ways to resist sexual pressure. (Use "Resisting Sexual Pressure" to make a transparency.) After mentioning the one about finding "enjoyable, sex-free activities and ways to express your love for a romantic partner," call participants' attention to the 25 ways for showing love found in the box in the fact sheet. (Use "Show Your Love" to make a transparency.) Ask if they can think of any more. End this section by asking participants if they can think of any strategies for resisting pressure that haven't already been mentioned.

If you have time, you may want to try a role-playing exercise. Have participants divide into a number of small groups. Ask each group to develop a short "skit" or role-playing situation in which a person resists pressure from a dating partner or peers to go beyond his or her sexual limits. In order to avoid having all groups portray either a male or female resisting pressure, you may want to tell each group if they should cast a female or male in that role. Have each group select members to present their "skits" for the entire group. Encourage discussion after each presentation.

SETTING LIMITS

The purpose of this section is to have participants think about the need to set their own "limits" for types of sexual expression besides intercourse and realize that they can use the same strategies for resisting pressure in these areas as we just talked about for intercourse.

While some participants may feel uncomfortable talking about masturbation, it's important to mention it at this point. Young people need to hear the message that masturbation is quite common among both males and females and that it does not cause any type of mental or physical harm. While you need to tell them this, be sure to stress the point that how they personally feel about masturbation is something they have to decide based upon their own values.

SAYING "KNOW"

End you presentation by stressing the points in the last section of the fact sheet. Emphasize the need for participants to become informed about sexuality whether or not they are sexually active at this time.

AUTHOR: Gary L. Hansen, Ph.D., Extension Specialist in Sociology, Cooperative Extension Service, University of Kentucky; and William W. Mallory, Fayette County Extension Agent for 4-H/Youth Development, Cooperative Extension Service, University of Kentucky.