What is Sexual Integrity?

Sex. It's used to sell you products. It's a recurrent theme on television and in books, movies, magazines and music videos. It's the source of problems like unwanted pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases like AIDS. It's also pleasurable and one of the most intimate ways people demonstrate their love for each other. It's something your friends talk about. And if you're like most American teens, it's something you may be confused about.

You may feel like you don't have enough accurate information about sex. You may be having a hard time understanding your own sexual feelings. You may be struggling to clarify your own sexual values. You may be finding it difficult to live up to your own sexual standards. If so, this series of leaflets titled "Sexual Integrity for Teens" is designed for you. It presents the type of accurate information teens say they want and need about sexuality. It also provides you an opportunity to think about what it means to act with sexual integrity and makes suggestions on how you can make sure your own behavior is characterized by it.

This first leaflet lays the groundwork by outlining what "sexual integrity" means. Other leaflets in the series deal with such topics as sexual development, sexual harassment, sexually transmitted diseases, choices for controlling conception, sexual myths, communicating about sexuality and dating violence.

Sexuality: It's More Than Intercourse

It's important to realize that sexuality is far more than the physical act of intercourse. It includes activities such as kissing and intimate touching as well as intercourse. It includes the ways our bodies develop and respond sexually. It also includes how we feel about these activities and responses. It includes what we think is right and wrong or good and bad related to sexuality. As such, your sexuality is a product of both biology and your own unique life experiences that have shaped your feelings and values.

Some people find that thinking about "sexual scripts" helps them understand their own sexuality and what has contributed to it. Just as the script for a play tells a performer what, when and how to do things, each person develops his or her own sexual script that outlines the who, what, when, where, why and how of sex. It provides answers to such questions as who should have sex, what sexual practices are acceptable, when sex should occur and why one engages in sexual activities.

Males or females growing up under similar circumstances as other males or females may develop similar sexual scripts. Your personal sexual script is unique, however, because no other person has experienced the very same things and been influenced by the very same people as you have. In addition to being unique, your sexual script may change over time. As you experience new things and encounter new ideas, you may begin to question or rethink the who, what, when, where, why and how of sex.

Sexual Integrity

As you can see, human sexuality is complex. While deciding what you really believe and how you should act is not always easy, striving to act with sexual integrity can help you make responsible sexual decisions.

A "woman or man of integrity" is looked up to and respected because his or her acts are characterized by three things - honesty, sincerity and ethics. It's important to think about what these three things mean and how they may apply to sexuality.

Honesty refers to being truthful, trustworthy and fair. Therefore, a person acting with sexual integrity does not lie to or deceive another person in order to gain a sexual favor. Such a person neither uses information about other people's sexuality to harm or ridicule them nor knowingly exposes them to the risk of an unwanted pregnancy or a sexually transmitted disease. Such a person neither takes advantage of others nor allows others to take advantage of them.

Sincerity means being genuine or real. It means being the same on the "inside" as the "outside." Therefore, a person acting with sexual integrity strives to act upon her or his values. If such a person doesn't believe in sex before marriage, she or he both says so and resists pressures to become sexually active. If such a person is sexually active but is not ready to become a parent, she or he insists on using an effective and safe method of birth control.

Finally, ethics refers to a set of moral principles. Those moral principles are standards for judging whether or not something is good or bad or right or wrong. A person characterized by sexual integrity has internalized a set of standards or values about sexuality which he or she uses as guides for his or her own sexual decision-making and behavior.

Respect & Responsibility

It should be obvious by now why acting with sexual integrity is so important. It shows respect for both yourself and others. It shows that you care enough about yourself to live up to your own standards and that you care enough about others not to do anything that could hurt them. It also shows that you are willing to take responsibility for your own sexuality and for the consequences of your sexual actions.

Acting with sexual integrity requires accurate information. It's your responsibility to become informed. The fact that you've read to the end of this leaflet indicates that you're interested in learning more. This leaflet is only one in the series titled "Sexual Integrity for Teens." If you haven't already, you will probably want to obtain and read the rest of this series. Being informed is a sign of integrity. It helps you act honestly, sincerely and ethically.

AUTHOR: Gary L. Hansen Ph.D., Extension Specialist in Sociology, Cooperative Extension Service, University of Kentucky; and William W. Mallory, Fayette County Extension Agent for 4-H/Youth Development, Cooperative Extension Service, University of Kentucky.