Eliminate Sexual Harassment

Sexual harassment is unwanted verbal or physical behavior of a sexual nature that interferes with a person's school or work performance or creates an environment that is hostile or intimidating. It can be as subtle as a look or as obvious as assault.

Verbal harassment often consists of humor or jokes about women, sex or sexual orientation. Sexual harassment also may consist of unwanted sexual advances or requests for sexual favors. Examples of sexual harassment are:

• Repeated, unwanted requests for dates.

• Sexually oriented jokes or remarks.

• Patting, touching or other unwelcome bodily contact.

• Inappropriate remarks about one's body, clothing, sexual orientation or behavior.

• Pressure or unwelcome requests for social or sexual activity.

• Physical intimidation or assault.

Both males and females can be sexually harassed, although females are most often the targets. Heterosexuals, bisexuals, gays, and lesbians can all be victims. Harassment often occurs in situations where one person has power over another, but may also occur among peers. Remember that harassment of any kind is harmful. Everyone has a right to pursue their education, job, or leisure activities without this type of interference.

Regrettably, many American teens are being denied this right. A national study of eighth through eleventh graders found that two-thirds of the girls and forty-two percent of the boys had been touched, grabbed or pinched in a sexual way at school. Thirteen percent of the girls reported being forced by fellow students, teachers or other school employees to engage in sexual conduct beyond kissing. Within Kentucky, a study of sixth through twelfth graders found that, within the past year, eleven percent of the students had been forced by a teenager they know to do something sexual that they didn't want to do.

While the effects of sexual harassment differ greatly from one victim to another, they can be severe. Common physical and emotional reactions to abuse include:

• Feeling angry, betrayed, depressed and anxious.

• Experiencing a loss of self-esteem or of control over one's life.

• Symptoms of stress such as headaches, stomach aches, insomnia and irritability.

IF YOU ARE A VICTIM

There are a number of things you can do if you are sexually harassed. They include:

• Don't ignore it. Seemingly minor incidents often escalate into major ones.

• Don't blame yourself. Far too many victims of harassment are immobilized by embarrassment and the worry that they did something to provoke the unwanted behavior. Sexual harassment is always the responsibility of the perpetrator.

• If you are comfortable doing so, tell the offending person that you do not like the behavior and that you wish it to stop. If confronting the offender face-to-face is too uncomfortable, consider doing it in a letter.

• Know your rights. Sexual harassment is illegal. There are confidential complaint procedures to protect you.

• Keep a written, dated record of your experiences. Include exactly what was said or done, by whom, where, when and in front of which witnesses. Such a record could be helpful later on.

• Talk to someone and ask for help. Discuss how the harassment is affecting you and the options you might explore.

• Remember that being upset by sexual harassment and wanting to do something about it doesn't mean you have no sense of humor. It simply means you want to be treated with respect.

IF YOU ARE A PERPETRATOR

Many American teens who harass their peers simply aren't aware of the impact of their behavior. They don't understand what sexual harassment is and how it can affect its victims. They think their behavior is "normal" and, when confronted, will say that they didn't intend to "hurt" anyone.

If this describes your behavior, you need to realize that the presence or absence of sexual harassment is not based on your intentions. It is based on how your behavior affects others. You also need to realize that it isn't too late to stop this unacceptable behavior. Having sexual integrity means respecting the rights and wishes of those around you. Learning from past mistakes is a characteristic of those who practice it.

EVERYONE HAS A ROLE

Even if you have never been a victim or perpetrator of sexual harassment, you can help combat it. First, you can support the victims. You can provide comfort, assurances and information.

Second, you can speak up when harassment occurs. Tell perpetrators that their actions may be perceived as sexual harassment. If you think their jokes and behavior are inappropriate, tell them so. Tell them, "Don't do that, it's gross." Say, "I don't think that's funny."

If everyone understands harassment and works together, sexual harassment can be eliminated.

AUTHOR: Gary L. Hansen, Ph.D., Extension Specialist in Sociology, Cooperative Extension Service, University of Kentucky; and William W. Mallory, Fayette County Extension Agent for 4-H/Youth Development, Cooperative Extension Service, University of Kentucky.